Titty Twister

I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I believe that the saddle issue is improving. I loaded up my chamois today with about 2 ounces of Chamois Butter, and that made a huge difference. Yep. We cyclists lube our shorts. Most non-cyclists are not familiar with that practice. No doubt, if they were, it would add more fuel to the 'cyclists are gay' fire. As if the colorful tights, fastidious dietary habits, and shaved legs were not enough -- we lube our crotches on an almost daily basis.

With the extra (a lot extra) lube in my shorts today, I felt better most of the day -- until around lunch time when the cream was mostly gone. Then Buster paid me a visit. So tomorrow, I'll load up again and see what happens. If I can get to lunch again without too much pain, I think it will be safe to assume that the problem will clear up in a few more days. In the meanwhile, I'll stick with my naked pants.

There is actually another less-known practice among cyclists that would provide ample fuel for the aforementioned fire. And that brings us to the bad news... I forgot to tape my nipples this morning. That's right, a lot of cyclists wear some type of bandage over their nipples. You can go ahead and snicker and call the bandage a pastie. But that's just because you are insecure with your own sexuality.

You see for some us, our nipples get rubbed raw against our jerseys. For very long rides, without the proper protection, it is not uncommon to bleed through your jersey. That can be somewhat embarrassing. Especially when you are wearing a white jersey as I was today. Luckily, there was a first-aid box in the van at the first snack stop so I grabbed some adhesive tape and addressed the problem. But, for the two hours before I got to the tape, I was very uncomfortable. It felt like the nipple version of the Indian Arm Burn. That's somewhat ironic, given that I had the same feeling at my bachelor party, at which time I kind if liked it. Although in that venue, it was not a fat kid named Buster applying the burn.

Today we rode to Wickenburg. It was a little colder this morning than it had been on previous days, but it warmed up by lunch. There was some climbing today, so we had to work a little harder to cover the distance. I joined two tandem pacelines today -- once before the first snack, and once before lunch. Those teams were fast. Near the lunch stop, I was pushing almost 300 watts just to keep up. Since I had the benefit of the draft, they must have pushing over 400 watts. I can only push 400 watts for about 3 minutes. Yeah, there are two of them on each bike, but believe me. They were fast. And about 15 years older than I am. One pair have been racing for over ten years. That is a theme out here -- everyone is both older and faster than me. Keeping up with the tandems had me pretty much blown up for the rest of the day, so I limped the last 25 miles into the motel.

Lessons Learned

Mistake: Riding through the remains of a dead skunk. While looking off into the distance, I failed to see it and rode through it. The odor was with me for a few hours.

Lesson: A dead skunk can be more dangerous that a live skunk.

Mistake: Failing to notice the pack of dogs. While following the tandems, I was focused on my paceline responsibilities and failed to see the three dogs charging across the desert toward us. We had just made a turn, so we were not moving very fast. Suddenly, I heard someone yell 'Go! Go! Go!' just as I saw the dogs about 30 feet away. We all broke formation and stood on it. We managed to get away, but we were moving at over 25 mph before the dogs dropped off the pace.

Lesson: Dogs are faster than they look.

Ride Summary

Distance: 87 miles
Speed (avg/max): 15.6 mph / 32.7 mph
Riding Time: 5 hours 37 minutes
Total Time: 6 hours 46 minutes
Power (avg/max) 146 watts / 774 watts (probably the dog sprint)
Calories Measured at Wheel: 2,940
Heart Rate (min/max/avg): 105 bpm / 182 bpm / 159 bpm

Miles this Year: 770